Hell of an answer…

forkmeister | 26 November 2004

Topics: Linkdump

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle”s Law (gas
cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant. One
student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time So we need
to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which
they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to
Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell, let”s look at the different
Religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that
if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since
there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to
more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in
Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the
volume in Hell because Boyle”s Law states that in order for the temperature
and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand
proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which
souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase
until
all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls
in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell
freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa Gibbons during my Freshman
year that, “it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you”, and take
into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must
be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen
over.

The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows
that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore,
extinct…leaving only Heaven thereby proving the existence of a divine
being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting “Oh my God.”

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY “A”

(via mzk)Dr. Schambaugh, of the University of Oklahoma School of Chemical Engineering, Final Exam question for May of 1997. Dr. Schambaugh is known for asking questions such as, “why do airplanes fly?” on his final exams. His one and only final exam question in May 1997 for his Momentum, Heat and Mass Transfer II class was: “Is hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Support your answer with proof.”

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle’s Law or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:
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